Miss Manners: She threatened to call the cops on me in church

DEAR MISS MANNERS I attended a concert at our church which has an excellent endowed music operation The concert was an organ and poetry recital about minutes in duration Related Articles Miss Manners Is there a polite way to satisfy my curiosity about the waitress Miss Manners Would it be crass to give a young widow money rather than flowers Miss Manners What s the rule about giving an ultimatum to a friend Miss Manners The women at work ignored me whenever I spoke What should I have done Miss Manners Can I as the host abandon the rowdy drinkers About minutes in I became aware of a skritching sound that didn t stop I looked in the pew behind me and a woman was sitting there filing her nails with an emery board I tried to get her attention but she would not look at me I reached back and tapped her knee which startled her and made her angry I appealed her to please stop filing her nails which she did At the end of the concert she demanded my name and informed me that if I ever touched her again she would call the police and press charges on me for assault I reported Please do She had already ruined the event for me She made a commotion as she left which was noticed by others Should I have done something different GENTLE READER Tapped her on the shoulder not the knee No wait You should not be touching strangers at all unless you are rescuing them from imminent danger Besides it would be demanding to reach a shoulder in the pew behind you And it is hard Miss Manners admits to reach a determined scofflaw If no church authority was available during the happening it might still be worth reporting in the hope that efforts will be made to restore proper behavior DEAR MISS MANNERS I am a gentleman who strives to live a mannerly life In that regard when riding general transportation I offer my seat to ladies who are standing I also wait for ladies to leave an elevator before me Now that I am well beyond retirement age does that change any expectations and norms When if ever do I keep my seat and allow younger men the privilege of offering their seat to the fairer sex GENTLE READER First please get off those elevators when you are in front instead of creating confusion by trying to stand back in favor of any ladies who are behind you Ladies first never applied there For your habit of yielding seats Miss Manners commends you and hopes that ladies perpetually treat the gesture graciously whether or not they accept But it is not only your age that has changed our system of precedence is in flux Gender is becoming less of a factor as it can do damage in the workplace where deferring to colleagues as ladies undermines their professional identities There precedence should be determined by the job s hierarchy Related Articles Dear Abby She s secretly cruel then spins a different story for her church friends Asking Eric I m keeping my burial plan a secret even from my wife Harriette Cole I want to make the the bulk of my summer abroad Do I need to warn my boyfriend Miss Manners Is there a polite way to satisfy my curiosity about the waitress Dear Abby After one date he was calling me baby and he flipped out at my cooldown text And in society at large age is becoming more of a factor Should a young lady offer you a seat Miss Manners hopes you will also respond graciously This is not to say that the gentlemanliness you practice should be abandoned much less condemned as is done by several Tradition has its place and these gestures add grace to society So the short answer is Keep offering seats to ladies if you don t mind standing if you do mind then stay seated Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO