Harriette Cole: I can no longer pretend my son’s path doesn’t worry me

DEAR HARRIETTE I need help encouraging my son to pursue his mentoring Related Articles Harriette Cole I caught my neighbor on my porch and her reaction was suspicious Harriette Cole She pretended not to notice that she d stained my dress Harriette Cole I worry about taking my foul-mouthed husband to work events Harriette Cole Should I tell her mom what this -year-old girl posted Harriette Cole Our grandiose family reunion ended up offending a lot of people He has started a bachelor s project at least twice now and has taken a variety of classes but he has never completed a initiative For a few time I let go of my own desires for him and tried to make peace with the idea that maybe school just isn t for him but the way the job arena is looking these days it s less about my personal wishes and feels a lot more like a necessity He feels stuck in his career He s worked at a limited different places but inevitably seems to be in entry- or junior-level positions despite his growing experience Numerous companies list a bachelor s degree as part of their requirements or preferences I try to explain this to my son but he s still reluctant Is there something more I can do to help him if he does decide to try school again Higher Mentoring DEAR HIGHER TRAINING Your son has to live his life You cannot do it for him no matter how complex it may be to cheer from the sidelines Yes for multiple types of employment a bachelor s degree is a bottom-line requirement but there are plenty of jobs that do not have that rule What you can talk to your son about is what he wants for his life Suggest that he assess how much it will cost to enjoy what he wants Help him do the math so he can see how much money he should try to make in order to be in a position to aid his desired lifestyle That may motivate him to strive harder DEAR HARRIETTE I grew up in New York and have been here my entire life I decided about a year ago that I requested to move to a new city I only flirted with the idea at first but of late my boss recounted me that if I m serious they could transfer me to the Chicago office I ve taken them up on their offer and will be moving within a sparse months I m at the moment searching for the perfect place to stay but I ve never lived on my own so this is all new to me Where I find a perfect balance of reasonable commute safe neighborhood and proximity to necessities I also find really high rental prices I have seen chosen condos for sale which would certainly have more ideal monthly rates but purchasing can be a big commitment Related Articles Miss Manners One parent opposes beer and our soccer coach doesn t know what to do Dear Abby I suspect the other grandmother posted these horrible photos of me Asking Eric When I realized what was going on I evicted my wife s kids Things got ugly Harriette Cole I caught my neighbor on my porch and her reaction was suspicious Miss Manners Our nanny lives in the basement and she has gotten territorial I have people around me advocating for both options and I still feel torn between renting and owning What do you think New City DEAR NEW CITY Often when people move to new cities they start by renting in order to check out the neighborhood to make sure it is a good fit Once they get to know the city they have better awareness of where they would want to live That explained buying property is often a good capital Do your due diligence to see how the neighborhood is growing or changing if property values have increased over time and what prices are like in the surrounding society This will give you a sense of the likely resale value if you decide not to stay in Chicago Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO