Harriette Cole: Apparently I crossed a line when I asked my ex for a favor

DEAR HARRIETTE Over the past three years my ex and I have uncovered our way back to friendship Related Articles Harriette Cole My teen won t go to family events and I don t know what to do Harriette Cole My friend says no to every favor I ask What should I do Harriette Cole Does a wife need to stay in this kind of marriage Harriette Cole I was offered my dream job and I panicked Harriette Cole I feel like my neighbor is spying on me When we first broke up we left each other alone which was apparently for the best Lately we check in from time to time and cheer each other on in new endeavors About a month ago I identified myself in a jam My car broke down late at night and I needed a lift I called my ex He did not appreciate me calling while in need I revealed another way home Eventually he reached out after weeks of us not speaking to tell me how confused he is Apparently conversation is OK but asking for favors sends a different message Is it attainable to have a healthy friendship with this person given our history and our current misunderstanding or are there too several complex emotions for a simple friendship to be feasible It s Complicated DEAR IT S COMPLICATED Clearly there are still chosen lingering feelings in the air between you two Even though you have moved on the heart is a funny thing The confusion points to the possibility that something may be stirring That disclosed when you were clearly in need the fact that your ex left you hanging is terrible He could have picked you up and dropped you off without opening the way for any other type of interaction To leave you stranded seems selfish This suggests that he cannot handle being your friend My advice is to back off for now anyway DEAR HARRIETTE I am heading back to college soon and this will be my second year living off campus During the summer I sublet my room and came home for a paid internship I ve been saving up my money so that I can be prepared once I m back on campus and minimize my loans In preparation for the upcoming semester my dad let me know how proud he was of me and my first paid internship at a major company and he offered to help me with rent for the next sparse months He made it clear that he won t be paying in full and I made it clear that I intend to find at least a part-time job once I get back to school For selected reason though my mom seems against it She hasn t revealed so explicitly but whenever my dad reminds her to write the check or transfer money to me she avoids doing it in the moment and seems to conveniently forget Related Articles Dear Abby Mr Cheapo is getting married and his wedding plan is ludicrous Asking Eric My brother refused to leave his house Now he s gone without telling us Harriette Cole My teen won t go to family events and I don t know what to do Miss Manners Does my condiment habit warrant these dark looks Dear Abby Should I tell my in-laws why I don t want to visit I really don t like asking but my dad says when someone offers you something it s vital for me to show up and do my part to take it I feel awkward asking repeatedly and I m not sure why my mom is making me Rent Assistance DEAR RENT ASSISTANCE Why not talk to your mom directly Remind her of what you are doing and of the agreement you made with your dad Point out that you are not expecting them to fully cover your expenses but you made your plans based on your dad s promise and their endorsement is crucial to your life for these next months Ask her why she is reluctant to help and if there is something you can do to make her feel more assured Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO