Dear Abby: My girlfriend went ballistic because I was helping my sad kids

DEAR ABBY When my ex-wife died in recent weeks she left our two children in their s and s a home that was in her name Related Articles Dear Abby I have no memory of those three days but somehow I alienated my friends Dear Abby My son s DNA test says he s part Jewish and he doesn t know why Dear Abby The other grandmother was treated better than me and I fought back Dear Abby My -year-old wants to go live in another state Dear Abby My boyfriend embarrassed me by demanding I apologize to the shopper My son has a good job my daughter works periodically as a model Losing her devastated both of them The home she left them is not only in bad shape but also requirements repairs and zoning and permitting updates I earn a good living and just now won a personal injury lawsuit I have been helping my kids by supporting them over the past sparse months because their emotional loss has taken them out of commission for a while I have contributed tens of thousands of dollars toward their home as well as helping out with rent and living expenses My girlfriend who I have lived with for plenty of years has now gone ballistic screaming at me for spending what should be our future retirement money on them She condemns me for supporting them not making them make it on their own and asks how dare I think of them and not us ' She and my kids have never gotten along She has invariably been resentful and angry about any attention I give them and has accused me of spoiling them when I have helped in the past I am furious that my girlfriend who has never had children can t understand my desire to help I feel it s my moral obligation as their dad to be there for them and I m fortunate that I can do it Isn t it the right thing to do as a parent to help as much as doable Is my girlfriend out of line This has damaged our relationship and I m concerned it may be entirely off the rails GOOD GUY IN CALIFORNIA DEAR GOOD GUY I don t know the intimate details of your financial situation the relationship you have with your companion or to what degree your generosity may impact your future Of subject it s natural for loving parents to want to help their children But tens of thousands of dollars is a lot of money Because of the emotions involved the logical choice for advice on this subject would be your CPA and your attorney DEAR ABBY I have a male friend attorney who is married to a dermatologist Nearly every time this friend interacts with a health provider he is dissatisfied and feels he is being ripped off He attests that doctors order unnecessary tests and deliberately overcharge He does this vociferously and repeatedly Related Articles Asking Eric He says the stepchildren don t deserve anything I think that sounds mean Harriette Cole I m being pressured to interfere in my brother s messy breakup Miss Manners Can a guest reprimand a dog in its own house Dear Abby I have no memory of those three days but somehow I alienated my friends Asking Eric We re keeping a heavy secret from our neighbors I m a retired diagnostic professional and consumer of wellness services myself so I am certainly aware that multiple parts of our strength care system are a mess I do not know how to stop his rants I try to change the subject but nearly every conversation is the same TIRED OF LISTENING DEAR TIRED You are not a hostage The next time this friend raises the subject tell him you have heard his complaints there is nothing you can do about them you would prefer to discuss something positive when you re together and change the subject Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA